Parents in Texas are grappling with a challenging situation as their 20-year-old son continues to live at home without contributing to household expenses or chores. Despite working full-time, he has not paid for his car insurance as previously agreed, and his living situation has become more complicated with the addition of his girlfriend and a dog, both of whom moved in without parental approval. This dynamic has led to escalating tensions within the household, particularly when discussions about future plans or responsibilities arise.
The mother, who has expressed her frustration in a letter to advice columnist Dear Abby, highlights her son’s struggles with anxiety and depression, which he attempts to manage through marijuana. Additionally, he feels disheartened because his friends are pursuing college degrees while he did not show interest in higher education, leading to feelings of anger and resentment.
In her response, Dear Abby poses a crucial question: Do the parents want their son to remain dependent indefinitely? If the answer is no, she advises them to assert boundaries. She suggests encouraging their son to save money from his job for a down payment on an apartment. Establishing a deadline for him to move out could help foster independence, even if it means relocating to a less desirable area. Abby also emphasizes the importance of addressing any violent outbursts, advising the parents to intervene if he exhibits destructive behavior.
In another letter featured in the same column, a millennial expresses concerns about leading a child-free life. The individual, who is in their early 30s, believes that bringing a child into the world amid current global challenges—such as rising costs and social injustices—could be deemed unkind. They also worry about future care during old age without children to support them.
Abby reassures this reader that having children does not guarantee care in later life. Instead, she encourages them to take proactive steps by consulting with professionals, such as attorneys or financial planners, to prepare for their future needs.
A third letter highlights a financial dispute between a husband and wife regarding tax refunds. The wife, who works alongside her husband and files taxes jointly, feels frustrated that he does not share any portion of their tax refund with her. Abby notes that this situation reflects a lack of fairness and control, advising the woman to address the issue assertively.
These letters reflect a broader theme of familial responsibility and the complexities of modern relationships. As parents navigate their roles and children face the realities of adulthood, open communication and clear boundaries become essential in fostering healthy dynamics.
