Death Doulas Offer Vital Support for Families Facing Loss

In Fargo, North Dakota, a growing group of death doulas is providing essential support to families navigating the difficult journey of end-of-life care. These professionals, including Gail Christopher and Mantha Josophia, aim to offer comfort and guidance to both the dying and their loved ones, emphasizing the importance of open conversations about death.

Gail Christopher, a former director of nursing, has dedicated her life to supporting individuals in their final moments. After witnessing the struggles of patients and families in nursing homes, she became a certified death doula in 2019 through the Conscious Dying Institute in Boulder, Colorado. Her mission is to help families understand and prepare for the dying process, which she describes as a sacred and healing experience.

Christopher’s journey into this field began during an encounter with a dying priest who expressed his fears and uncertainties about death. “We can read all the books we want. Life is still life and we are still human,” she recalls. This conversation sparked a realization for Christopher regarding the need for compassionate support during life’s final transition.

Death doulas, unlike hospice workers, do not provide medical care. Instead, they focus on the emotional, spiritual, and practical needs of those at the end of life. Their services may include assisting with advance care directives, facilitating discussions about personal end-of-life preferences, and offering grief support for families before and after a death.

The role of death doulas has gained traction in recent years, particularly influenced by the “Death Positive Movement” led by millennial mortician Caitlin Doughty. This movement encourages open dialogue about death, aiming to normalize the conversation around mortality. Christopher believes that addressing death openly can lead to a more meaningful understanding of life and its inevitable conclusion.

The rising popularity of death doulas presents challenges in cities where their role is not widely recognized. Christopher notes that when she approached local organizations to offer her services, she often encountered resistance, as traditional roles such as social workers and clergy dominated the conversation around end-of-life care.

Despite these challenges, Christopher remains committed to her work. She emphasizes the importance of communication between patients and their families regarding end-of-life wishes. “When you know something is coming, talk about it,” she advises. “If your dad wants to die by the lake with his dog, take him there.”

Another prominent figure in Fargo’s death doula community is Mantha Josophia, who combines her nurturing spirit with a desire to facilitate conversations about death. After her personal experiences with childbirth, she became inspired to help others navigate the complexities of death. Josophia organizes monthly Death Cafes, informal gatherings where participants discuss death and loss in a supportive environment.

Josophia’s journey into this field was ignited by a social media video featuring Alua Arthur, a well-known death doula. Arthur’s message resonated deeply with Josophia, prompting her to pursue training in death doula services. She now collaborates with fellow doulas, including Angie Schulz and Audrey Heilman, to form Sacred Passage Death Doula Services. This initiative aims to address the specific needs of families during the dying process.

Schulz, a funeral assistant and celebrant, shares her experiences of learning from individuals during their funerals. “I felt like I learned so much about living and life from the people that we were celebrating,” she says. Her recent personal loss of her grandmother further motivated her to become a death doula.

Heilman, a licensed massage therapist, specializes in providing comfort through non-invasive touch. She believes that her work offers a sense of peace during what can be a chaotic time for families. “It’s such a scary, confusing time for not just the person dying, but their family as well,” she explains.

In an effort to further destigmatize discussions surrounding death, the Sacred Passage doulas are organizing community events, including a Death Cafe scheduled for October 19, 2023, from 16:00 to 17:00 at Ecce Yoga in Fargo. This event aims to create a safe space for individuals to express their thoughts and feelings about death and grief.

As the role of death doulas continues to evolve, these professionals are committed to providing compassionate support and fostering meaningful conversations about one of life’s most challenging experiences. For more information about Sacred Passage Death Doula Services, interested individuals can reach out via email at [email protected] or contact Gail Christopher at [email protected].